


Crumble

by Absolutelyoveryue



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action, Angst, Army, F/M, Fraternization, Journey, Romance, Tragedy, Trust, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 21:23:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6487846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Absolutelyoveryue/pseuds/Absolutelyoveryue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Ngh..." Annie rasped, her throat constricting painfully. Salty tears rolled down her cheeks and her skin felt like fire, but he wouldn't let her go. He refused to let her go again. "You're crushing me..." Sometimes love hurts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Forget Me Not

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Attack on Titan/Shingeki No Kyojin. But I have a girl crush on Annie and she will be mine someday.

Chapter 0

Forget Me Not

Prologue

* * *

When she looked into the wide, innocent blue eyes of her newborn daughter for the first time... she realized just how horrible of a crime she had committed.

Because no matter the compassion, and no matter the endless kindness of her heart; her child's eyes would never hold that same purity again. Not when the news of her birth spread to those who wanted her dead.

The blood of humanity was in her veins. And so was the blood of a warrior. Tangled in the vines of both, unable to abandon either of them, she had unknowingly unleashed her own curse into the future of her child. She could only protect her for so long before they finally lost patience...and took her away.

There could never be room for both worlds in her heart.

Not if she wanted to survive.

And so she cried.

* * *

_The first time she saw the sun was when she was five._

Bright.

And _warm_.

It had been much more real when she saw its light peeking from the slowly parting gray clouds in the sky. It fell across the land, somehow seeming so foriegn compared to the candlelight she was so used to. The sun... was more than she had imagined it to be when her mother described it to her a year ago, in the warmth of their cottage where not a single window was in place.

"The sun...?" Her mother had asked in amusement when Annie curled in bed beside her, asking about the ball of fire she had heard about so much. She had heard that word muttered many a time, in the meetings between her mother and the mysterious hooded people who had come to their home in the dead of the night.

Silence had settled after her question, the only sound being the resonating heartbeats of both females as the candlelight beside their bed flickered... and eventually died.

"Well... I'd have to say it looks and feels like _love_." Her mother had eventually whispered, softly kissing her daughters hair as she rocked her to sleep.

The irony of it all felt sickening. To finally set her eyes on the sun as snow fell like feathers onto her shivering form, her cheeks pink from the cold and her skin numb as her blood turned to ice. Her fingers trembled as they dug into the thin fabric of her tunic, since Alec hadn't given her the luxury of a coat...

"For your second test you need to numb yourself to pain," The trainer had answered coolly when he led her away from her fathers house hours ago. "That means the luxury of warmth isn't an option today."

She didn't protest when he left her there alone. She had learned not to complain _very_ quickly when she realized how differently the villagers treated her. She didn't have the luxury of acceptance, just like she didn't have the luxury of warmth it seemed.

She was at the edge of a forest on a hill, a long way from the village bustling below. Her fathers house was a bit nearer, just a dot in the snow far away from where she sat; shivering.

Her back was pressed against a worn down tree, eyes staring down at the houses that lined the civilization. Most of them were alight with flames in hearths or fireplaces, warm colors surrounding the village like a halo, almost as if taunting her. Smoke rose from the roofs of several of the houses, rising in tufts of black into the dim gray sky. The sun seemed to float there, a lone circle of light that didn't provide the heat she needed so much right then.

She choked out a cough and tightened her arms around her torso, wondering how things had changed so fast and without warning. She missed her mom terribly, and the image of her warm smiling face caused Annie to sniffle, and this time it wasn't because of the cold.

The last time she had seen her mother was on her fourth birthday, the night two strange men took her away. Annie had been confused. And frightened. But she didn't even think to struggle because her mother simply stared as they wrapped her trembling, barely awake daughter in a blanket and took her away.

"To live with your father," the men had answered, when she finally asked in a tired voice where they were taking her.

She had seen her fathers face before then of course. Once. The meeting was brief and wordless, as he and everyone else who visited the house had only wanted to speak to her mother. His hair was golden, but lined with gray, and his eyes were identical to hers, though his had bags underneath and were much colder. Her mother had once said she wore her fathers face much better than he did, and at the time Annie wasn't sure what that meant. Until she came to face to face with him of course.

Discomfort had settled in Annie's spirit for the first week she stayed with her father. She didn't ask why she was there when they came face to face, his appearance not much different from the last time they met, and he didn't tell her. He just showed her the room she would be staying in, a small chamber with a large bed and a window- nothing else, before going to his own room to speak with the men.

He barely spoke a word to her when she joined him for breakfast. He only would look on in silence when she played with the dolls he had left in her room. And just like her mother, he didn't let her go outside.

And at first Annie didn't mind that. She'd only been outside a few times before, each time being at night when her mother let her catch a few glimpses of the moon and stars. It was always chilly then, and the gates around the house never let her see any farther than her own backyard. Her interest would peak every now and then when she thought of what was beyond their house, but her mothers silent disapproval of Annie's curiosity was always enough to make the yearning die for a few days.

But now as she sat in the snow and practically froze to death, Annie suddenly decided that maybe her curiosity was a cruel thing after all.

Because the sun felt nothing like love right then.


	2. Burned at the edges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Attack on Titan/Shingeki No Kyojin. But I own my love. Which I freely give. This chapter is more of a memory lane thing. Or the after prologue? I cant even. I should never attempt to write a drabble. I'd keep adding more words and forget what a drabble's supposed to be.

.❀.

Chapter 1

Burned at the edges

.❀.

* * *

_Levi_

* * *

_It was odd how quickly his adrenaline would vanish._

_How the light would suddenly leave his eyes._

_How empty everything suddenly seemed as he stumbled and knelt down, the unrelenting power he had felt before suddenly gone._

_Just...gone._

_Sometimes he felt like he could achieve immortality if he really wanted it._

_But now he wondered_

_what use he would have_

_For eternity._

_So he crushed it._

_Those foolish dreams._

_Crushed it in his palm_

_He threw it away like it was nothing._

_He was...the strongest._

_Strongest of them all._

_Humanity was his reason to trudge on even when he felt there was nothing else to trudge on for._

_So he survived._

_But_

_He did not expect..._

_To find a reason to want more._

_'Will you promise me?'_

_She murmured._

_'This. Us. Will you promise me it's going to last forever...?'_

* * *

He opened his eyes, consciousness returning to him bit by bit.

He sat up, sunlight basking on his skin.

And only then did he realize he had no idea what she meant by forever.

Or even who _she_ was.

* * *

_Eren_

* * *

It was hard to breathe sometimes.

When the reality of everything struck him. It was hard to breathe. Hard to think. Like a slap on the face so startling... it took him forever to register the pain.

It was hard to...no- it was _impossible_ not to gaze, shocked and pained and rasping...

Into absolutely nothing.

His eyes weren't dead like Mikasa's, who sometimes would look at him in silent observation, pity and even understanding in her stare.

They weren't filled with unshed tears like Armin's, who wouldn't look at anyone as he held on to himself and trembled at the horrors he'd seen but tried to forget.

No. His eyes weren't anything like theirs. They were just wide. Falling off the brink of sanity. The tiniest fragments of rage starting to burst into flame in Eren's teal irises.

Everything wasn't gone.

The chaos of humanity; dead, injured, or just in shock- it surrounded him. It surrounded him and the last two people he could hold onto. The last remnants of his family. It suffocated him.

No. It wasn't all gone.

But the fear in his mothers eyes as she looked at him for the last time made him feel like it was.

He could never forget the way his heart suddenly stopped beating as that monster raised her to its lips, its smile inhuman and eyes dead in such a way that made his body shudder.

And he would never forget the fire that spread throughout his body. The way he couldn't avert his eyes. The way his soul felt like it was having a war within himself as his mind told him to shove Hannes arms off of him and _**run to her**_. But the smaller part of him told him it was too late before he'd even had time to scream.

It wasn't all gone.

He still had Armin. Mikasa. Hannes.

And yet he had nothing.

Wanted nothing.

 _Felt_ nothing.

Until the rage crawled like poison in his heart.

And he knew they understood; he knew by the silence that they offered him as he struggled to breathe, to say something.

 _'You weren't strong enough to save her...listen to me!'_ Hannes had whispered, hands refusing to budge from Eren's shoulders. _'You weren't strong enough okay!_?... _And you'll never be strong enough.'_

_The tears that escaped his amber eyes were tears of shame._

_'But... I couldn't save her...because I was **afraid**.'_

Eren clenched his fists at the memory, the heavy weight on his chest suddenly lifting. His eyes flittered to Armins suddenly still figure beside him, the blond fast asleep. And for that one moment he felt strength. Because Hannes was wrong- he _would_ become strong enough.

He would become strong enough to destroy everything that dared to try and hurt him or the ones he loved again.

Mikasa didn't even blink when he turned to her, jaw set and eyes cold.

"We're joining the army."

* * *

_Annie_

* * *

_Shnick!_

The metal chains danced as her bare leg made contact with the bars her father held up for her. Pain shot through her calves, and her ribcage shuddered as her body tried to shut down in exhaustion- but she didn't stop moving.

She couldn't afford to stop.

_Shnick!_

She pushed herself, harder and harder into her nightmares. Pushing past her limit as she lunged, kicked, and threw every last bit of strength she had into her training.

Becoming stronger. Untouchable. Transitioning into a warrior. This was her purpose. This was what she lived for- it was something they had told her ever since she began this hell that was her new life.

" _Faster_ , Annie!" Her father yelled, eyes flashing with disappointment as his daughter began to falter and her breathing grew shallow. The sound of his voice kept her up as she struggled not to fall into the grass.

 _Breathe_. She thought dizzily, her throat closing in and her hands trembling and shaking with sweat. She begged her mind to stay awake.

_Breathe... Breathe... **Breathe**...!_

" _My_ daughter isn't weak. Keep going!" His voice cut into her like a vice, making her head pound as she grit her teeth in frustration.

But she obeyed. And she continued. Even as her body cried out in pain, she continued.

Because she couldn't afford not to.

 _Shnick_!

"Again!"

_Shnick!_

_Her body swayed as her fathers yells pushed her along._

_Shnick!_

_"Again!"_

_But before she knew it..._

_Shnick!_

_She was falling. And this time she didn't try to get up._

_**Shnick**!_

_"Again! What are you doing? I said...Annie? Annie!"_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know. I want to rush into the storyline but these little scenes cant be skipped, and I at least added Levi like I wanted. Even though his bit was small. Needed. But small. Gah. Hope you enjoyed, see you at the next update.


	3. Roar

.❀.

Chapter 2

Roar

.❀.

* * *

_Annie_

* * *

_Everything around her burned, flames licking every inch of earth and consuming all the life it could reach. As far as her eyes could see there was heat. An inferno of heat._

_She couldn't move or speak- but she could feel. And eventually she could see that beyond the flames was an endless array of blue. All around her, beyond the fire- there was blue. Trapping her like a cage._

_She thought it was the sky at first. And then she thought it was the ocean._

_But when the flames parted and dimmed, Annie slowly made her way through the inferno towards the blue light._

_It was only on closer inspection did she realize it was crystal._

* * *

When she finally opened her eyes, the golden crown of her fathers head met her watery gaze.

For a moment, she could only stare. But then awareness hit her like a wave of ice cold water.

Annie inhaled sharply, surprise flitting across her features when the realization of their proximity to each other sunk in. She sat upright, her bones aching and her shoulders feeling as if they would give out any second. Mr. Leonhardt lifted his head the moment he felt Annie's movements and realized she was conscious at last.

He moved away from his daughter, the tiniest hint of relief washing over his face.

"You're awake..." The older man sighed, the shadows of old age falling into his eyes. He looked as if he had stayed up for nights on end with the way his eyes seemed sunken in and his skin seemed gray. Annie herself was a sight for sore eyes, with bloodshot irises and pale skin fit for a ghost. Neither of them seemed to be entirely there.

Annie's eyes moved around the room, noting that it wasn't the same chamber she slept in each night. This room was larger, the bed she was in was bigger, there were windows on the farside of the room that let dim light shine in.

And the walls were blue. Not the ash gray and forest brown she was so used to waking up to. This room felt too misty to be real. The fact that her fathers face shone with worry and softness where hardness and stoic lines usually were made it even more surreal.

She would have assumed she were still dreaming if not for the fact that the familiar ache in her bones alerted her that she'd been immobile for some time now.

"I passed out." She murmured after a beat of silence. As soon as she said that, Annie knew it to be a fact. She hadn't lost control of her body since her early days of training, and ever since that day that her body became like iron itself; she never dreamed she would ever lose herself again.

Disappointment filled her as realization sunk in.

It tasted bitter.

"Annie." Her father said, noting the darkening of her face and abruptly pulling her out of it. "Do you need anything to eat? You're too pale...and you're getting thinner. You can't go out in the condition you're in."

And as if in confirmation, Annie felt a tickling sensation in her throat before she erupted into a coughing fit. She covered her mouth with her arm and leaned back on the bed, trying to calm it down. Her father's forehead tensed, the crows feet around his eyes creasing. His hand lifted towards her but stopped abruptly, drawing back as the guest who had been watching the ordeal silently made themselves known.

"If you had let her live in the town like I said so, giving her real air instead of the stale junk you call _oxygen_ in these ruins, maybe she wouldn't be so sickly." A deep voice cut in.

The owner of this voice emerged from a corner of the room that Annie had barely glanced over.

It was a man.

He was tall, posture and stance full of youth. And to Annie's brief surprise, despite her lack of awareness at the moment, the man was the spitting image of her mother. Or at least; of the memory Annie had of her. Which, painful for her to admit, was a very dim and groggy memory as the years went on. Even despite that though, there was something else familiar about the man. If she hadn't felt as sick as a dog, Annie would have studied him closer. But alas, the small girl could only curl her fingers around her throat and try to breathe through her fits.

Annie's father inclined his head towards the visitor- an annoyed look overtaking his face and replacing the worry.

"Alec...if I had wanted your input, I would have asked." He replied stiffly, the clench of his jaw evident enough that he wasn't very fond of this man.

The name sent another wave of recognition through Annie, and beyond the pain in her throat and chest she saw a memory of snow and sunlight. She saw a man in leather clothing with long blond hair pulled back away from his face retreating down a hill. And the soft words he had left behind echoed in Annie's mind.

_'For your second test...you need to numb yourself to pain.'_

The memory flashed through her mind like a knife.

Annie stilled, her eyebrows furrowing as the sensation in her throat slowly faded.

It took her some time to register that this 'Alec' had crossed the room in three strides and placed a hand on her pulse. His fingers were warm, the heat sinking into her skin and making the pain fade almost instantaneously. But in the midst of that warmth, Annie registered the cold metal edge of a ring on his finger.

Her mind went blank. And for the longest time, Annie didn't dare to move.

"Well obviously you don't need to ask me..." Alec retorted as he turned his head towards her father who hadn't risen from his seat.

The man leaned back, seemingly not noticing the young girls reaction to his presence, and ran a hand through his hair before continuing.

"You can clearly see the toll that place has taken on her. It's no more than a prison, and if you didn't want my input then you shouldn't have requested for her to come here."

Her father's eyes narrowed.

"If you want, I can easily pack her things and take her back." Her fathers tone was darker than before, but it didn't seem to phase the younger man.

"Like hell you will. She's staying here until _I_ deem it necessary for her to go. She's my responsibility just as much as she is yours. You don't have the right to keep her away-"

" _She isn't your child Alec._ " Her father was on his feet now, the chair he had been occupying nearly falling over.

The sound of her father raising his voice sent chills down Annie's spine, and she went even stiller than before.

Her father didn't notice this however, and his eyes never left the taller mans face as he went on in the angriest tone he had ever used in his daughters presence.

"And she never will _be_ your child. I came to you because this is the only place where she'll be safe during her recovery. You think I don't find it odd she's suddenly ill right when I'm being summoned to the city? Of course I do. But if you're going to make everything more _difficult_ , she's better off in the _forest_ where the _wolves_ will do a better job of protecting her than her own _godforsaken uncle!_ "

His voice trailed off, silence instantly following. And that was all there was for the longest moment.

Silence.

Annie's heartbeat, which had been weak before, now pounded in her chest and echoed loudly in her ears. Her blood seemed to run cold as her fathers words sank in. On one end, she was surprised to hear the raw emotion in her fathers voice. On the other, the word 'uncle' seemed to push every other emotion she could possible feel away. That was the only word that floated in her mind for a while. She couldn't even be angry that they had spoken about her as if she hadn't even been there. She couldn't feel anything for the longest time.

Until finally, Alec spoke again. His voice so soft that she had to hold her breath to hear him.

"I'm sorry."

Her father reeled back at that. But Alec looked genuine as he leaned against the closest wall, hand lifting to his temples. Annie, who had been silent during the entire ordeal, finally pushed herself up and lifted her legs over the mattress. Both men looked up at her movements, and for the first time Annie got a good look at Alec's face. His cheekbones were high, eyes such a light blue they looked gray in the rooms dim light. If it weren't for his deep baritone and the stubble on his chin then he would have easily passed for a woman.

When his eyes met hers, Annie felt bare.

"I'm sorry." Alec repeated, his eyes never leaving hers despite the fact he was addressing her father. "And though I know my actions as of late aren't a very convincing show of my desire to help- I still want you to trust me."

It felt like he was speaking to her in a way. Annie didn't have time to react to Alec's stare nor his words however before her father sighed and leaned over her bed.

"I accept your apology. Now leave us." He murmured, running a hand over Annie's bangs and closing his eyes as if to ward off the tiredness washing over his body. Annie stared at her father, and then turned towards the young man on the other side of the room. A question pulled at the edge of her mind, on the tip of her tongue and just barely contained as the man called Alec straightened his shoulders and turned to leave.

Time seemed so slow and yet so fast in that moment. The thought of her mother made her want to stop him. But the feeling of her fathers cool hand resting on her forehead and the sight of his ashen face made her stop. She knew that speaking out would make the situation worse, and she had never forced her way into a conversation her parents had initiated with a stranger before. And she didn't have the courage to do that now, especially since the man seemed as if he wasn't ready to cross that boundary himself.

So in the end she kept her mouth shut.

The door shut behind Alec, and by then she already knew she had lost her chance. The thought sobered her, but Annie was already aware she couldn't change it nor was she sure that she wanted to. So she lay there- staring at the ceiling and barely noticing the figure of her father out the corner of her eye.

He didn't say anything for the rest of the time was there at her bedside. But as Annie recalled her fathers words about being summoned and Alec watching over her, she couldn't help but feel curious.

 _'There's always tomorrow.'_ She thought tiredly.

And how reassuring that thought was. So reassuring that sleep came even before Annie could realize it was there.

All went dark.


End file.
